To me, an artist is anyone
who collects the bits of broken pieces of heart,
the shiny slivers of joy and love you feel for anything
(be it a person or a really good piece of pizza)
who harnesses the velocity of the blood in your veins
that is proof that you are real,
And makes a mosaic of these things
that don't seem to belong
and yet fit just right together.
If you are in the habit of walking in the world
however you are, whoever you are,
in all your in-progress glory
and in all your glorious wholeness (because it's "and", not "or")
You are both artist and masterpiece.
 
(Poem inspired by thinking of what it means to be an artist--that word can be complicated. At best it fails to capture what it means to be creative and at worst, it turns people off and relies on the idea that the title must be given to you once you "earn" it.  We are going to take a much deeper dive into this in a future post, so get ready!)

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I have an incredibly hard time starting a new adventure because all I can think about are all the steps I need to take to get to my end goal. When I think about writing and filming the movie I've always dreamed about making, I don't ever begin with the first step, which would probably be thinking about what I want my movie to be about. Nope. I deep dive into step #202, which is to secure a boom operator, and even freak out about step #348, which is make sure the craft services table has a gluten-free option. 

What's that? I'm jumping waaaay ahead of myself? Who, me? 

I have listened to the RobCast for a few years now and the host Rob Bell, who finds joy in exploring what it means to be human, has offered some of the best advice ever when it comes to getting started on a goal. 

If Rob were here to hear me fret over the lunch options for my film set, I'd imagine the question he might ask me is "Lunch? How about a script? Or an idea for the script? Do you have that yet?"

And most of the time I'd have to answer "No." Then I'd be hit with a really hard truth to swallow. I think I so often skip to step #202 or 348 because step #1 scares the daylights out of me.  When I leap ahead and make excuses about my non-existent film set and the issues we are having with the catering company, I don't have to deal with what is right here in front of me--or what doesn't yet exist. What I still need to make and to do to move forward with this dream.

This summer, I've been working on taking the next step, my personal step #1 and working on a screenplay. My mind gets jittery often and wants to sprint to the finish, but the truth is that we can't get to the top of the staircase if none of the stairs are built yet. To build our dream, we must start with step #1--which Rob Bell also points out is often the most unsexy step. For me and the movie I am dreaming of bringing into the world, it's not a press release or an interview at Sundance. It's a quiet, unassuming writing session in my apartment where I will probably drink a cup of chamomile tea and squirm in my seat and try to find the magic way to shimmy up to the top of the creative ladder, a la finding a secret cotton candy staircase that launches you to the winning space on a Candyland board game. It's realizing that there are no shortcuts to being creative, just showing up as often as you can with a spirit that says "I'm here. I'm open. I'm willing to do the work and the play and fail big and surprise myself in the best of ways."

What are you dreaming of? What is your step #1? Is it something you can get started on today? 

I love cemeteries. I took this photo of a cemetery while I was running a 5K race in Upstate NY last month. Yup. I stopped running to capture this photo as onlookers looked at me like I was nuts. I was sweating and my heart was pounding and my legs were throbbing and my breath was fast and when I ran by the cemetery, I just stopped: "I am alive and someday, I will die. But right now, I am alive." What a wonderful discovery to make.

I love visiting cemeteries whenever I have a big life decision to make. I love visiting when I have something I really want to do, a leap I want to take, but I feel scared. When I visit a cemetery during these times, it evokes questions that allow me to reflect on the life I am creating. For example, last summer, before I taught my first class at Emerson, I biked by a cemetery in Cambridge. I felt nervous about teaching and my fear had started me thinking I might not even want to take that risk. Was it worth feeling anxious, inadequate, and confronting my inner critic day after day for the whole semester?

When I biked by the cemetery, a voice inside of me said "I have to teach this class. I MUST."

See, taking a moment to be cognizant of the fact that someday, you will die, helps to throw your life into sharp relief. It helps to put things in perspective. When I imagine being on my deathbed or think about my name on a headstone, I think: When I'm dying, will I wish I had taken the risk of teaching (or performing or writing or loving or getting on that freaking airplane, etc., etc.)? Even if it involves hard work and anxiety and sweat and doubt and people telling me I'm no good at it, will I wish I had done it?

"YES."

For me, teaching was one of those things that evoked this answer. And this summer, when passed by this cemetery during the 5K race, I asked myself these questions about the short film I am writing. When I'm dying someday, will I wish I had made this movie?

YES.

Try it out. Sometimes you will get this YES and other times, you'll get a NO. Which is just as helpful as the YES, because unless we say NO to things that we don't feel strongly about, we won't ever have the energy and heart and time to say YES to the things that really get us excited.

It's often hard to do this exercise in a cemetery where people you love rest, so try going to a cemetery in a different neighborhood, or in a different state. Try visiting a cemetery where one of the authors or actors or musicians or artists you admire is buried. I love visiting Sleepy Hollow Cemetery in Concord, MA where Louisa May Alcott is buried. It's a special experience that makes you realize that no matter what we spend on time here doing, we're all going to die someday, so it's critical that we do things that matter to us. When you doubt yourself, it's powerful to realize that even the "genius" that you admire and are convinced you could never compare to, had one chance at mortal life, just like you do now. There's no more excuses in the face of death.

I'm going to die. So are you. But if you are reading this right now, you are alive and can ask yourself a question.

"If I died today, what do I wish I would have done?"

Since you are alive, you can take a teeny tiny step towards that thing you see in your mind's eye and keep taking steps towards it as if your life depends on it. Because it actually does.

No one is getting out of this world alive.

Time is finite and is ticking away as I type this and as you read it.
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Best to make sure that when we do make our exit from this world, it's with the peace of knowing we were true to ourselves and with the ecstasy of having spent our souls on something that set them on fire.

Chances are, you are already doing too much. Between work, friends, parenting, “exercise,” cooking, eating, and sleeping, you might be left with one good hour per day. How can you be expected to keep track of so many things to do in life? Of course certain priorities slip through the cracks. Guess what? You’re off the hook. Let’s look at why we all get a pass on the guilt of procrastination.

First, “procrastination” and “laziness” are not real. They are concepts created by a world who is trying desperately to get you to buy into the idea that busy=worthy. It is JUNK. And for you, it stops today. Chances are, you are already doing WAY too much for a human brain to physiologically keep track of. It is not your fault that you forget things. It is not your fault that your human physiology is so very overwhelmed with requests, demands, deadlines, risks, plans, decisions, and obligations that the only defense you have sometimes is self-sabotage. Have you ever made yourself sick just so life will give you a break? I have, and I know many others who have too. What is an overwhelmed, creative being of light to do? After all, your only real job is to find the best channel to share your maximum gifts, right?

You may resist this, but stick with me. Ready? STOP adding new things. I’m giving you a temporary pass to say NO to any and every new thing. Not forever. Just for a while. Say, two weeks? Let’s make it official, say it with me:

“I hereby place a moratorium on all new requests, ideas, plans, and engagements. For 2 weeks, I will iron out what is hanging over my head right now.”

And here is the bonus round: You’re in Charge of what that means!

Want to watch Netflix for a night or two, or seven, before you tackle that stuff that absolutely needs doing? Do it! Maybe that is exactly what you need to bring context to everything else.

If ignoring certain stuff makes your life break, maybe let it break a little! Hey, maybe you're not a good fit for having your shit together just yet. Maybe you really do need a bit more time before you are qualified for your job, perhaps? Sometimes dysfunctional things need desperately to break completely before better things can come together. We insist on maintaining a constant deathgrip of control over HOW the universe gets to bring fulfillment into our lives. We insist on trying to suck a coconut of greatness through an impossibly tiny coffee stirring straw. The Universe is TRYING desperately to deliver said coconut of greatness, constantly. But we’re just like, “Nope. It has to pass through this tiny straw or I don’t deserve it.”

This does not count as acceptance.

This does not create an open channel of receiving.

This is your life, and if you want to create an environment where you are accepting of yourself and who you are, you will have to release the guilt for who that person is - Right This Moment!

Don't let anyone tell you how you spend your time is a waste, or “irresponsible,” because it is YOUR TIME. This is your life to leave the legacy you choose, even if that is a person who barely showered, lost all their friends, developed diabetes, and died alone. That is totally fine, and no I’m not being sarcastic. No one has the right to judge the worth of another person, period.

But, there is a catch to all of this. The one secret ingredient caveat is: You don't get to feel guilty about doing any of it.

If you are going to pour your life into indulgent or hedonistic pursuits, or even just obsessive creative activities, the deal is that you have to really give yourself to it. LET IT FULLY RUN ITS COURSE. To be very clear: this kind of radical acceptance only works if you surrender completely to your purest impulses. You may find that instead of two weeks, or a month, or a lifetime of guilty part time Netflix binging, or gaming, or making lists of stuff to buy on Amazon, or watching YouTube videos on Ancient Aliens and the Illuminati (I SEE YOU), or eating those awesome fucking donuts, you may only need 3 days of really going full time with it. LEAN INTO IT. Get a real deep and refreshing gulp of whatever it is that is cluttering up the corners of your soul. Because, you know those visions in your head and heart that are screaming about “greater purpose?” Besides making you feel like a 15th century plague has befallen your spirit, these visions have actual value. They are a map showing you the way to your gifts, and they will never spring to life past the mountain of distraction you have romanticised into importance unless you give them a voice and venue.

Distraction is FUN! Right?

Distraction allows us to avoid unpleasant and uncomfortable tasks and feelings. And most importantly, we are able to avoid the dreaded “boredom.”

Boredom is another term that isn't “real.” Much like laziness and procrastination, boredom is an idea that has been sold to us as a label for the feeling we get when we have not been allowed the time and space to WORK on our purpose. Once you identify the unique gift within you, the divine eternal charge of your singular legacy, you will have no cause for boredom. Boredom evaporates under the sun of purposeful FLOW.

How do you identify this purpose if you haven't already? Entire books have been written on the subject, but I will try to summarize in one sentence:

Radical and complete self-acceptance through total surrender.

What’s even better is that once you have let all the distractions out to play and be heard, and you are finally taking steps to materialize the building blocks toward this newly refined purpose, you will have even more authority and license to spend your downtime exactly however the FLIP you want.

It’s like the difference between letting a puppy run in a prairie every day versus keeping them in a crate and only giving them a taste of a world they long for in the minutes you bring them to the park to poop. Once you begin folding time in on itself to achieve six months worth of progress in a week or two, you can laugh in the face of anyone who tried to slap a lazy label on you. You can stare them dead in the eye, knowing they have no idea what the word even means, and they will see your compassion for them as a person who is still trapped in the cage of belief thrust upon them. In that moment, you will know that you have successfully transmuted this concept of “procrastination” right into “purpose.”

People are uncomfortable with what they see in others when they fear its controlling presence in themselves. And they will go to every length to prove that you are as trapped by it as they are. Just remember that you have escaped the prison they are still trapped in, and let them know if they ever want to break free, you could point them in the right direction. Because maybe we are meant to fail a whole lot, maybe things are meant to break, and maybe the key to our greatest creative power is our greatest destructive power. Maybe you’re supposed to get fired. Maybe you were supposed to get your heart broken (again). Maybe you need to experience financial struggles to finally understand money’s role in your life. Maybe you just don't care about that dream as much as you thought, and, by the way, who are you trying to prove wrong anyway? What are you even trying to prove to yourself? Let it go already. We said the words, right? We have a Surrender Moratorium in place.

When I’m coaching someone on procrastination, I usually suggest a technique I call “The Just in Time Approach.” Have you ever noticed that when you’re avoiding something, you do other things? What if all those other things were things you needed or wanted to do too? Voila! You’re now productive! Look at you, getting things done. Of course, you still have to do that one thing right? The mind is powerful. The mind doesn’t know the difference between reality and imagination. So the trick to “Just in Time” is visualization. As you’re doing the “filler tasks,” visualize the big hairy task you’re avoiding. Get excited about it. Make it the reward for all this other stuff. Take it one step further by doing tiny setup steps between the other stuff you’re doing. When I have to write something, but I feel like doing other things, I pull out the paper and pen, then I walk away and do something else. When I come back, I write the date at the top, then I walk away again. When I walk past the notebook, I look at it like, “I’m coming for you.” Sometimes I even bail on the other stuff I’m doing and dive right into the major task after I have psyched myself up a bit. Whether I do it last, or spontaneously in the middle, it is always “Just in Time.” World class athletes use this visualization technique with great success, and you can too.

There is only one player on the field, and the net is open. Take the shot, Champ. Sometimes, the key to getting what we want is the freedom of losing everything else first.

Stay Magical,

SOVRRN

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​SOVRRN is the creator of Legacy Command, a personal coaching and life management system that uses a custom Planner and Fantasy Role-Playing Cards to gamify real life achievement. Learn more about SOVRRN and Legacy Command at www.legacycommand.com.