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Opening Night Traditions

9/29/2016

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Photo by Kyna Hamill

Tonite is opening night for Two Roads Performance Projects' production of 
Letters to Medford and I am getting opening night butterflies already! I love this play and this group of people that I get to play with and our unique "theatre" space,, and feel grateful that I get to spend the evening telling a story in a wonderfully intimate space. The play was originally staged in 2014, and this is the first time I've gotten the chance to revive a role. It's like taking a trip through time both as your character and you, the actor, and an incredible opportunity to have a reunion with the rest of the cast, director, and playwright!

When I was cast in my very first role in a play, a member of the chorus in You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown, I celebrated opening night by listening to the song "Opening Night" from The Producers--and I've done it for most openings ever since. I can also remember dancing to Abba's "Mamma Mia" and "Dancing Queen" during intermission of the high school musical on opening night and have no shame admitting that I still have a soft spot for their special brand of Swedish flair. 

This year, instead of "Opening Night", I started of the day singing "My Shot" from Hamilton, off-key, as I walked to the morning train, and decided to wear a beautiful skirt and pearl earrings that belonged to my Grandma, who passed away last spring. Just a small way of celebrating, and completely unbeknownst to most people, but it feels like a special way to mark the day. 

What about you? Do you have a regular ritual for celebrating opening night? Any superstitions? I find theatre traditions pretty interesting, and am always looking for different and creatives ways to give a nod to a first performance. 

Above is a sneak peek at a production photo from the show--I play the ghost of Lydia Maria Child, one of Medford's most well known historical figures. Child was a women's rights activist, abolitionist, writer, and domestic guru--I find it fascinating that she became a social outcast after writing articles and books on racial equality AND she advocated for decorating with flowers and playing party games. That's what I like about her though---she's a three dimensional human being.  Oh, and she wrote "Over the River and Through the Woods", but would probably be mortified if she knew that the poem is what we commonly remember her for. 
​
What about you? Anyone performing this weekend or seeing anything special? Wishing you a wonderful weekend, Friends. 
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Tiny Tips for Creativity #5: Reread a Favorite Childhood Book

9/28/2016

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​I have been listening to an old favorite childhood book as an audio-book this week, and with the wonky schedule I've been balancing lately, it has hit the spot. 

From the Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Konigsburg is a book I read when I was probably nine or ten years old, and though I haven't picked up since, I've remembered it all these years. It's as a sweet and suspenseful story that follows two siblings as they run away to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. Claudia and her younger accomplice Jamie visit Rockefeller Center, the New York Public Library, and spend their nights sleeping in antique canopy beds deep in the halls of the museum. Eventually, they find a beautiful statue in the museum, "Angel" that the museum has purchased for $225 but is suspected to be one of the great undiscovered works of Michelangelo. The siblings strive to solve the mystery, and wonder and adventure ensue. It was written in 1967, so certainly excuse the seemingly impossible circumstances here. It is incredibly refreshing to watch as the two children attempt to find clues and solve the case using their library cards, the New York Times, and fingerprints. No smart phones allowed!

Some parts of the book resonated just as they did when I was a child, especially the beginning of the book where the main character, Claudia, explains that she chose New York City to run away to: "because it was elegant; it was important; and busy." The ensuing adventures in the nooks and crannies of the Met, the meals of macaroni and cheese and coffee in small diners (where the bill comes to a couple of dollars), and the sight of ice skaters at Rockefeller Center all hit me hard in the soft spot I have for NYC. 

Other parts of the book made me laugh out loud and wonder whether or not certain references went right over my head as a kid, such as when the younger brother Jamie finds an uneaten candy bar on the street, and is warned by Claudia "it’s probably poisoned or filled with marijuana, so you’ll eat it and become either dead or a dope addict. … Someone put it there on purpose. Someone who pushes dope.” What?! Too funny!

Listening to the story as an audio-book has been a lovely throwback as well, taking me back to the days of being read a story as a kid. I have listened to the book while commuting on the subway (MUCH better than scrolling through CNN), as well as falling asleep to it as I lay in bed, which had a comforting, cozy feel to it. It's like the best parts of childhood and adulthood combined: you get to stay up as late as you want AND you get a bedtime story. What's not to like?

Have you read this book? If you have, you might enjoy this Mental Floss article that has some fun facts about the book.

What's your favorite way to throw back to childhood? 


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Snowflakes in September

9/24/2016

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It's no secret that since I started listening to Hamilton this summer (I know, I was late to the game), I cannot get enough. I not only love the music, but hearing the stories of how its creator Lin-Manuel Miranda conceived of and wrote the musical over a period of several years. It makes me think a lot about both the kind of artist AND human being I want to be in this world. Inspiration, yes, but a boatload of hard work and compassion and trudging on when you think you might just fall over.

I found this post in the middle of this week, which for me was tottering dangerously on the verge of creative chaos. It was the convergence of a number of creative projects accompanied by finally catching whatever virus seems to be floating around, and there was more than one time when I thought to myself "I've made a mistake by taking all of this on at once."

There is such power in watching someone else's fears and insecurities and frustrations dragged into the light of day.  Even when this happens digitally, there is something about a human being saying "Me too. I have been there" that is balm for a weary, worried soul. When I saw this exchange between Miranda and his wife, I actually breathed a sigh of relief and said out loud, "Yes."  Broadway sensation or artist with a day job, both of us are still playing according to the rules of what it means to be a human in the universe. 

We get tired. We get discouraged. We wish we were better at whatever it is that we believe that we have come into this world to do. And the fact that someone else says "Me too" means that we are not alone. THIS is the powerful part. 

True, to realize our commonalities with other people may feel like we are disillusioned about the ways in which we have always believed that we were different than everyone else (this kind of pressure to differentiate yourself as special in our society today can feel like an epidemic), but the other side of the coin? We aren't alone. We aren't the first and only and last people to feel this way. And for me, that is the ultimate comfort. I'm not special in that way. Thanks goodness. 

There are many different takes on the idea that not one of us is "special", and for me, they range from slightly insulting to insightful. I used to bristle at this idea that no one is special, but the more I let it sink in, I truly do find it comforting. Motivating, even.

As my husband says, we are all "special" to other people in our lives and what we do matters,  AND we are not "special" in terms of the rules of the universe. This distinction is important, because it's the difference between saying that no one and nothing is special and realizing that when it comes to fears, physics, and human nature, we are all on the same level. 

I often think about this when I'm working on a creative project. Right now, I just closed performances of BIG WORK, my own play with The Perpetual Visitors Theatre Company, and I am in rehearsal for a lovely local production, Letters to Medford, with Two Roads Performance Projects. I am taking some much needed time to rest and recharge this weekend, and really starting to get those pre-opening night butterflies, in the best way.  I adore this play, and I love working with this group of actors. The experience is both ordinary and very special to me.

I'm not special.

I'm not the only person who has ever put too much on my plate. 

I am in good company with artists across the world and throughout time who have felt the pleasurable pull of sharing a story.

My fears of not being good enough or talented enough or creative enough are not special. 

I'm not the first (or only or last) person in history to feel totally spent.

All of these feelings and fears and thoughts are valid and vital to me, AND we all feel this way from time to time.

Our emotional paths and creative walkabouts and deep dark fears all intersect with one another, all the time. 

I'm not special in these ways. I don't have unique snowflake problems. Thank goodness. 

As English teacher David McCullough, Jr. said in his famous "You're Not Special" Wellesley High School commencement speech to high school graduates in 2012, “Climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air and behold the view. Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you.”  In this, I find a certain kind of permission to be myself, however I might feel at this  moment. I can put down these heavy expectations (much of the time self-imposed) that I have for myself to prove that I am "special".  

What do you think--does this make sense to you? Do you find this idea insulting? Inspiring? I would love to hear your take in the comments below!

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BIG WORK and Big Feelings

9/17/2016

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PictureThe cast of BIG WORK at the Actors Studio in Newburyport, MA on opening night of our run, September 16th, 2016.



You may have noticed that I have been away from my blog for about a month now. Or maybe you haven't. When you publish something on the internet, it's hard to tell who might be reading or not reading, and regardless of the fact that I enjoy blogging for blogging's sake, I have felt some guilt about being away from this for a few weeks now. 

The last month has involved seeing two amazing couples in my life celebrate marriage,  being brave enough to fly on an airplane (I am absolutely terrified of flying, as you may or may not know), getting to host two lovely friends whom I had not seen together in a few years, rehearsing for BIG WORK's performances up in Newburyport, MA this weekend, rehearsing for Letters to Medford, a wonderful play that is being revived for the 100th year anniversary of the Medford Historical Society, and planning for a huge annual event as part of my full time day job.  It's been FULL to say the least.

When I have tried to think about how to write an update about the  last month, I've thought a lot about what we are all used to hearing when listening to someone talk about balancing multiple life roles at once. Usually we hear, "It's hard, but it's worth it. I wouldn't change a thing." I suppose that is true, but so many times it feels like just something we are supposed to say, something we don't believe all the time. 

In the spirit of trying to make sure that I'm being as honest as possible with myself and with the people in my life about theatre and creativity and life,  I'm willing to break the rules a bit in regards of what I say about the balancing act of it all. 

Forgive my somewhat sleep-deprived and stress-induced stream of consciousness soliloquy. Here goes.

I'm tired. Scratch that. I'm exhausted. Even my hair is tired. 

I'm overjoyed. 

I'm low on sleep.

I'm high on stress.

I've been using the word "busy" lately and I HATE the word busy. 

I've regretted taking on this many projects at once.
 
I've realized I couldn't have turned any of them down.

I'm so behind on emails, blog posts, snail mail, voicemails, texts.  

I've wished to be able to work part time--working forty hours a week and rehearsing 12-15 hours a week on top of that can drive you mad.

I miss my community that live far away. I miss community that is close by that I haven't had time to see as much as I want to.

I crave silence and alone time to recharge. 

I don't know how I will physically and mentally and energetically stay sane and healthy throughout the next couple of weeks. 

I am so freaking excited about the next couple of weeks.

This feels like a weird ending to a blog post--usually I try to wrap them up with something a bit more certain and stable. When I read blog posts that conclude with a piece of advice that I can take away and use, I feel good. Comforted. But I think the truth is that a creative life is so much more complicated than that. It asks lots of questions, comes up with some ideas and theories, puts them into practice, and ultimately asks more questions. And I like that. Curiosity is comforting and holding two seemingly contradictory feelings at the same time is good exercise for your soul. Two truths at once: exhausted and happy; doubtful and confident; a desire for community and solitude. 

"It's hard, but it's worth it. I wouldn't change a thing." Is this true? 

For me, I would revise it slightly.

It's harder than anyone would ever prepare you for AND it's worth it. I would definitely change things if I could--I would not have to work a day job full-time or even at all, and I would most certainly not have any student loans. But I'm really trying to do my best with the givens I  have, and I'm glad that I've gotten to make the things I have, meet the people I have, and add some magic of sorts to what might otherwise feel a bit too ordinary for me. I am permanently swinging between saying 'Melissa, why the HELL did you take on this many things?' and 'Holy cow, I am so lucky that I get to do this!' And maybe just facing that facet of myself and letting go of how I *should* approach my life and creative work will be enough to free up the precious energy that I usually waste on guilt and the need for "balance", and instead really harness it to get to do what I want to do.

Thanks for reading. Wishing you a weekend that is both restful AND full of soul-affirming frenzy! As always, I'd love to hear from you in the comments. 

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    Author

    My name is Melissa and I'm an actor, playwright, author, filmmaker, and teaching artist who wants to help you discover, cultivate, and care for your creativity. 
     
    What does being creative mean to you?

    How do you play every day?

    This is a space for taking a break, a breath,  and finding ways to flex our imagination and find the joy where we can. 

    ​No one is going to present us with a ready made creative life--we have  to step up and gift it to ourselves. I'm so glad you're here.

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