Lately, I feel like I keep hearing about people who discovered their creativity by moving across the country, by leaving their partner, by quitting their job, by making HUGE changes, and while these all are incredibly brave and wonderful things to do in the name of your creativity (and yourself), I realize that I don't often recognize my own journey in these stories. Have you ever felt this way, too?

I am married to an amazing man who knows me better than anyone on the planet. I live in Boston, a city I adore, and I feel surrounded by people who love and support me, whether right in my own city or halfway across the world. These days when I go looking for inspiration or creativity, I can't afford to travel to some faraway exotic place, and I can't afford to quit my job. And being married is the best part of my life, so why would I compromise that for anything? 

If you're in a bad relationship or dead-end soul sucking job, or you hate the place you live, then by all means, make a change. Seriously. Sometimes a change is exactly what you do need. But if you love your partner, your family, your friends, your cat, your job, and your apartment, and the way your life feels in general, don't feel pressured to turn your world completely upside down in the name of finding some more inspiration or embracing your creativity. 

Creativity creeps into any crack and corner you let it; even if you don't let it, per say, it will usually show up uninvited anyway--in the dinner you cook, a dress you sew, your kid's science project, the way you wear your hair. Creativity doesn't discriminate between extraordinary, exotic circumstances and the every day. 

If throwing everything away in the name of your creativity is trendy right now, why not be a rebel and commit to being an "everyday" artist? Your own story of finding time to paint between PTA meetings, or recording a podcast after work while your supper cooks might not net you fame and notoriety, but it will bring you joy. And peace. Let your own creative joy be enough. Let the privacy of those moments be sufficient. Don't let yourself be pushed into rearranging your entire life because you think you have to. Know what you are willing to give up for your creativity and what you won't let it take. Dare to let your own life, as you recognize it, be the fountain from which new ideas and projects and inspirations springs.

If I had to compose a letter to creativity about the boundaries of our relationship, here's what I would say:

Dear Creativity and Inspiration,

I love you. I treasure all the time that we've spent together--performing, writing plays, blogging, baking, reading, and crafting. You have led me to new places and incredible people who make my life so joyful. Because of you, I have grown my compassion and curiosity. I have you to thank for some of the most beautiful and rewarding moments I've experienced in my 32 years on this earth. Thank you. 

I do need to let you know that in addition to the magic we're shared, I do have some rules.

I will not give you my health. 
I'm not willing to give you all my extra money, or even all my free time. I will binge on Netflix and cookies and not feel bad that I "should have been making something" instead. 

I will not give you my peace of mind or let you question my sense of self-worth or sanity. I will not start wearing all black just to feel like a more "serious" artist or be pressured into dying my hair blue to be perceived as more "interesting". 

You will never see me trading my marriage for you, nor my kindhearted and funny and one-of-a-kind group of people that I'm amazed to call my friends and family. 

What I can promise is to always be curious about what could be written, acted, or shared with the world. I will always believe in your power to bring people together and transform the problems that seem unsolvable. I will always let myself be surprised and open to new ideas. Which should be said, might in fact negate my prior comment about blue hair or wearing all black. 

I will always be in charge of deciding how much of me you get, and I think if we both stick to the rules, this is going to be just swell. 

Love,
Melissa

Now it's my turn to ask you. What does YOUR letter to your own creativity say? 

Happy Weekend, Everyone!  It's gray and rainy here in Boston today, but I'm hoping for some cherry blossoms to peek out soon. Wishing you all a weekend that is restorative and creative and whatever it is that you need at the end of a long week! Here are a few of my favorite links from around the internet this week:

1. Gratitude may feel trendy these days, but it's always a good thing. I love this article on the 7 situations in which to say "thank you".

2. Looking for some creative inspiration? My beautiful friend Alyssa Franklin has an awesome blog post this week on five ways to feed your creative muse--check it out, along with her other gorgeous writing and photographs at Learn Through the Arts. 

3. I am currently reading a fantastic book, Manage Your Day to Day: Build Your Routine, Find Your Focus, and Sharpen  Your Creative Mind that was gifted to me this winter by a dear friend, and I love it. It's full of ideas on how to structure your day (day job, creative adventures, and more) so that you get the most out of it. Grab a copy  HERE.

4. Young comedian Quincy Jones was given just a year to live after he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Determined to film a comedy special before he dies, he was recently appeared on the Ellen show and received $50,000 in donations to make his dream come true. What's more, HBO even picked up the special as well. I often think about what legacy we will leave behind as artists, and I love how universal this man's questions and dreams are, despite his heartbreaking diagnosis. 

5. This cat video. You're welcome!

I've got a few blog posts in the works for next week, and I'm so excited to share them with you. Have a fabulous weekend!

Happy Friday! To kick off the (almost) start of the weekend, I wanted to share a few of my favorite links from around the interwebs this week. Enjoy! Wishing you a restful and recharging weekend, Friends.

1. I'm an inconsistent meditator, but Mary Meckley's Daily Meditation podcast is AMAZING! Published seven days a week, these short meditation sessions are designed around a weekly theme, such as releasing anxiety, cultivating joy, or improving focus. Follow along daily, or search the past themes to get a meditation that it tailored to what you need right now. No time to sit and meditate? There's even walking meditations for you to listen to on the way to the train, bus, or even in the grocery store. Check it out at Mary's website, Sip and Om

2. Eshu Martin's Living Zen podcast is one that I don't listen to as often, but holy cow, he nails it last week with his episode "Joy and Fun in Zen", where he reflects on his role as both the leader of a Zen Monastary in Canada, AND a musical theatre actor. It came during show week for me, and was JUST what I needed to hear in the midst of the chaos. Plus, you can't beat a monk who swears like a trucker. You'll find this specific episode right here.

3. Delicious and nutritious food! As some of you may know, I'm following an autoimmune protocol diet, which is a stricter version of the Paleo diet to help manage psoriasis (more on this in a future post), and I'm indebted to so many food bloggers who keep me supplied with amazing and healthy recipes while I'm doing the elimination phase of the protocol.  My favorites this week were He Won't Know It's Paleo's healthy Shamrock Shake, Sweet Treats plantain chip chicken, and Autoimmune Paleo's zucchini pasta with bacon pesto . Already planning my menu for next week!

4. I'm loving Aziz Ansari's Instagram account! I  may not be able to eat pasta on my current protocol, but that doesn't mean I can't drool over Aziz's pasta pics from his current sojourn in gorgeous Italy. I highly recommend it. If you haven't already, do yourself a favor and head to Netflix to watch his hilarious and heartwarming series, Master of None. This guy's on a roll. 

5. This infomercial spoof from the awesome Jason Isbell, courtesy of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Nothing better than a truly talented musician using his skills to make fun of his own music genre.  One of the highlights of my week!

I've recently joined Instagram, so if you're into that sort of thing, you can find me at theperpetualvisitor. Quotes, theatre photos, and cat pics guaranteed!

 Happy Wednesday! I've got so many blog posts brewing in my brain, but at the moment, I'm feeling that familiar combination of big happiness/all-consuming exhaustion that follows the closing of a play. BIG WORK's last performance on Saturday was just incredible, and ever since my creative self has been saying "Keep going! Such great feedback from the audience, amazing momentum from the four sold out shows, and SO MANY IDEAS TO PUT INTO ACTION. RIGHT NOW!" Alas, the rest of me has won out, happily yielding to the need for sleep, a regular eating schedule, time with my husband, and unscheduled evenings and weekends. There's been time spent with dear friends, mocktails, and binge watching of the Great British Baking Show. So tired, and so grateful.

So, while I will be back soon with some new blog posts and to fill you in on the emotional skydiving adventure that was writing, directing, and performing in my own play, for now I thought I'd share some previously secret, super exciting, somewhat nerdy news. 

Elizabeth Gilbert, one of my favorite authors and all around human beings, is celebrating the ten year anniversary of her best selling book Eat Pray Love  with an anthology of reader written essays on how reading the book impacted their lives. Guess who is over the moon to have her essay titled "Steps" included in the book? Here's a hint: she's got curly hair, a ceaseless hunger for plantain chips, and she's typing at you right now. 

Eat Pray Love Made Me Do It, published by Riverhead Books comes out in bookstores and online worldwide on March 29th, and even though the editor already sent me an advance author's copy last week (which a bleary-eyed me greedily tore into at midnight following the tech rehearsal for BIG WORK), I am going to head to a local bookstore later this month just to see it on the shelf. And maybe take a picture. Or a hundred pictures. You know, nothing too embarrassing. 

My essay "Steps" focuses on the eight months I spent in bed because of debilitating back pain at the age of 26, during which time I read my weight in books and discovered Liz Gilbert and her wonderful memoir Eat Pray Love. Not too many people know about this time of my life, and writing about it felt both vulnerable and right. Having seen over a dozen doctors over the course of two years, I eventually found myself out on disability from my day job and having had to drop out of my first theatre company that I co-founded in Charlottesville, not to mention sit out from my social life. What I appreciated most about Eat Pray Love was that it wasn't inspired by a perfect life, but instead was a story that sprang from one woman's experience of suffering and her journey to joy and healing. If she had suffered alone and allowed anger to consume her, we wouldn't have the book--and all the lessons that came with it. Thankfully, Liz decided to navigate her own journey through pain by writing and sharing her story with anyone who would listen. Because of that choice, her suffering was transformed from a kind of poison into medicine. Amazing how that works.

Being bedridden for nearly eight months was one of the darkest times I've ever experienced in my life so far, but I am so grateful to have gone through it and that my own suffering did not go to waste. Out of a mess of depression, anxiety, and major financial stress came the best summer of my life when my husband and I married in my hometown, followed by our move to Boston so that I could do my Master's at Emerson. The rest is history, and I know I wouldn't be surrounded by all the amazing souls that I am had it not been for those dark days. That time in my life continues to feed me in the most unexpected of ways. For this, I still say "thank you". 

This upcoming book release is a good reminder to myself that my aim in life is not to avoid suffering, but to not let it be in vain. I want to be brave enough to let myself feel despair, anger, and sadness, and from those things, keep mustering the energy to make something meaningful to share with the world. Sharing is powerful, and I feel in debt to the many brave souls who have shared their stories with me in some way. Maybe this is a small way of giving back.

I'm still waiting to hear if there's going to be a book event at a local book shop here with a few other essay contributors that live in New England, so I will keep you posted on that. I've also renewed my vow to continue working on my own book that I began a few years ago--the draft has gone from a day job memoir to a creative manifesto to something that's a mash up of both. With more daylight, unscheduled time, and warmer weather on the horizon, I'm hoping to see if I can put together a final draft of this thing I've been working on once and for all. 

To read more about Eat Pray Love Made Me Do It, head over to Elizabeth Gilbert's site. There's also a recent interview that she did in People Magazine where she talks about setting aside a whole day to read the essays. I might have freaked out a bit when I read that.

What about you? Have you tried transforming a difficult time in your life into something that felt healing and meaningful? Do you have a book or film that was born out of someone's suffering that helped you to grow in some way? Share your thoughts in the comments!