It's been a little while since I've spent time in this space. My first book, The Perpetual Visitor: A Field Guide for Everyday Artists came out this May, and I honestly poured so much of my creative energy into writing about, well, creativity, that I feel like I'm moving into a different season of my artistic and writing life at the moment.

I believe that creative energy is wild. It ebbs and flows and we get stuck when we try to tame it, so I'm trying to take my own advice and follow where this playful energy of mine seems to want to go. Will I write some more about creativity and our need to play and explore? Probably. Do I need a break from that at the moment? For sure. 

I've spent the last couple of months making the shift from writing about making stuff to actually making stuff, and it feels SO GOOD. One of the first things on my list was to edit my first short film, Ready for Lou, that I made with my partner, Dave Bergstrom. I wrote the script last summer, we shot it in the fall, and I just edited it last month.  

I've wanted to be in a movie since I was six years old and though I live in Boston and can audition for student, indie, and occasional feature films, I'll be honest: most the of the stories aren't compelling and the characters don't appeal to me. I can't tell you how many films still center around the boy meets girl plot line or how many casting calls describe the leading female as "gorgeous" and/or require nudity.  Don't get me wrong, I love a good love story, but in 2019, it feels disheartening to still see so many movies, particularly short, indie projects that still promote outdated stereotypes and rely on romance centered stories. 

I desire to play characters who felt like the very real, incredibly nuanced human beings I am privileged to know in my own life and to explore real questions that I struggle with each day. I waited for someone to offer me the role I wanted, and as with most things in life, it never showed up.  

I was shy for so long about making the first film because I was afraid it wouldn't be perfect. I feared that the finished product wouldn't be as shiny and snappy and powerful as the version I saw in my imagination. This perfectionism kept me from making a movie for a long time. Somehow I thought if I could avoid doing the thing I really wanted, I would haven't to be disappointed when it fell short. 

But see, the thing is that here's no way to fast track your learning process and skip over your first try at something and go straight to being an expert.

There's no way for your first try at anything to not fall short on some way.

When's the last time you tried something brand new, whether it be paddle boarding or making a new-to-you pasta dish, and declared "Well, this turned out exactly like I'd hoped it would. No improvements necessary!"

Never? Yeah, me either.

If you're waiting to make your movie (or paint that landscape or knit that sweater) until you know what you're doing, you'll never going to be ready. You'll avoid having a beginner's version of your long-dreamed of creation and you'll also sacrifice any joy that you might experience by going for it. The price of pleasing your perfectionism is quite costly. You must be willing to trade joy for never having to feel awkward or scared. I used to be willing to make this trade so much of the time with so many things in my life, but I'm less willing to do this. Life is short, embarrassment won't actually kill you, and we owe ourselves the chance to see what we might do with the time and talent we have. 

Making the six year old version of your thing can be scary and embarrassing and make you feel like you're a wobbly kid again, but the only way to get through your first time making something is to go ahead and make the first thing. And once you make that first thing, you might just be surprised at the permission you feel to go ahead and make the second. And the third. The first movie felt like a lot of pressure. But once you make the thing and prove to yourself that you can do it, you might just feel a  little more free to try the next thing. 

Head over to YouTube to watch Ready for Lou. I'm so grateful to Dave for being my partner in this experiment, as well as Renee Miller and Alyson Muzila, two wonderful actresses who took a chance on this first try.  I'm so excited to share this with all of you! 

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It's here! 

​You can now get yourself a paperback copy or Kindle version of my first book, The Perpetual Visitor: A Field Guide for Everyday Artists, via Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1096311305

As a way to celebrate with all of you, I am sharing a special episode of The Perpetual Visitor podcast here, where I read you the introduction to the book, so pop in your headphones and take me along for your commute, evening of cooking, or your morning jog.  Please let me know if you listen and like what you hear, as I am considering making an audiobook version of the book down the road!

Thank you to everyone who has offered me kind words of encouragement over the years about the idea of this book. The comments, messages, and love in response to my book announcement post last month helped to get me over the finish line. 

If you do read the book, and feel so inclined, please consider writing a review on Amazon's site, and share the book with anyone you know who could use a little more magic in their life. 

Thank you again, Friends, and I am wishing you an upcoming week full of creative possibilities for you. 

...my very first self-published book, The Perpetual Visitor: A Field Guide for Everyday Artists!

A sneak peek from Chapter One:

"Let’s reclaim our creativity and get back to our highest purpose here on earth: to tell stories, to listen deeply, to create the things we dream of, to express ourselves in a way that leaves logic behind and lets us leap into a different kind of life —a life in which we don’t need to conjure meaning out of thin air but rather tune in to our own soul to connect with and release the magic that already lives within."

For a long time, I searched for a book that offered reflections about how to live a creative life with a day job and how to pursue big dreams without having to get a divorce and move to another country. I wanted to read a book by a peer, someone who hadn't "made it", become famous, and had it all figured out. Someone with a desire to create beauty in the world and just kept showing up again and again and again, figuring it out along the way.

I didn't really find that book, so more than five years ago, I started writing it.

I pitched it to several book agents, one of whom which told me that he liked the idea but that I should reconnect with him when I had a bigger Twitter or Instagram following. I'm not interested in spending my time recruiting hundreds of thousands of strangers to pay attention to my social media posts, so I am publishing this book myself.

This book is a love letter to a life spent expressing yourself through creativity and play. It's a testament to the challenges that we face along this path, and a toolkit for anyone seeking strategies to help infuse their days with more joy and art. Whether you are an actor, a writer, a painter, a poet, a dancer, or the world's most enthusiastic chocolate chip cookie baker, this book is for you.

And if you are someone that doesn't self-identify as creative? This book is for you, too.

The Perpetual Visitor: A Field Guide for Everyday Artists will be available via Amazon in both Kindle and paperback versions on May 1st, and I'll post the links once it's up.

So excited to have you read what's been rolling around in my brain for the last several  years. THANK YOU to my incredible community of creative souls who offer such endless love and support. I don't think I couldn't have kept this project going without you!