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  • Blog
  • About Me
  • Things I Teach
  • Things I Make
    • The Book: The Perpetual Visitor
    • Wild Unfolding: and other poems
    • New Bird
    • The Podcast
    • Theatre
    • Film
    • Poetry
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Monday Motivation: Songs to Get Psyched By

9/23/2018

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Have you listened to Paul McCartney's new album, Egypt Station? I listened when it came out almost two weeks ago now and have to admit that it's been dominating my earbuds ever since. It is SO GOOD!

It's neat to know that this is his first album out in five years, his eighteenth solo album of his career, and his first #1 Billboard album in thirty six years. At 76 years old, he is both still rocking out and harnessing a life lived by weaving his humanness into sweet songs that make for the perfect soundtrack for solo walks around the city or dinner making dance parties in your kitchen. I'm not wishing away time, but have got to tell you that these songs make me feel more hopeful about aging. What if getting older could mean gathering more gold for the things we create?

If you're feeling in need of some motivation to keep making the magic, head on over and give it a listen and let me know what your favorite song on the album is! I keep changing my mind but today, I'd say I'd have to go with Happy With You, which has some of my favorite lyrics I've heard in awhile.

​
​I walked around angry
I used to feel bad
But nowadays my days
Don't have to be sad
'Cos I'm happy, with you
I got lots of good thing to do, oh yeah
​
And if you haven't yet seen the Carpool Karaoke with Paul McCartney, do yourself the favor of the year and give it a watch. I laughed and cried, and can honestly say that the world seems a little bit brighter. 

Take care this week, Friends! There's lots of good things to do.
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Go Ahead. Jump the Gap.

9/17/2018

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Each day in our lives, we have a choice: to stay in a place that feels familiar, safe, but ultimately unsatisfying, or to take the leap to someone else that makes us feel alive and brings us more satisfaction than we can even imagine. 

What are you dreaming of doing? It's tempting to tell yourself that you need to plan, research,  plan, and research some more before you can make your move. Who doesn't want to feel 100% prepared for something new, right? What if you dared to jump before you were "ready"? Instead of making your move when you were 100% ready, what if you went for it when you were, say, 90% ready?

In my experience, when you leap before you are totally ready, two things happen:

1. You actually do the thing you've been dreaming about. Is it even possible to be 100% ready for something, especially for something you've never tried to do before? Spoiler: it's not. In many ways, "getting ready" is just an excuse for us to put off what it is that we're dreaming of, citing a lack of readiness in order to justify why we won't just do it.

2. When we believe we are 100% prepared for something, we are less forgiving when we make a mistake, fail, or encounter a challenge that we didn't plan for. In this way, it's too easy to berate ourselves, call ourselves fools for even trying, and vow to wait even longer before starting next time. "See?" you might say, "I thought I had thought of EVERYTHING. I was 100% prepared. Then this happened. This proves I didn't plan well enough. I'm not trying this again." Ironically, when we leap when we think we're 90% ready, we are actually jumping while acknowledging the fact that we know there is 10% that we don't feel certain of. When we meet a challenge that falls into this 10%, we can greet it openly. "Ahh, there's something I didn't plan for. This is part of the 10% I didn't know or plan for. What have you got to teach me? I'm ready to learn." When you know you have a blind spot, you don't get nearly as frustrated when something pops up out of the blue.

Jumping the gap is the way that we move from safety to satisfaction. Think of how many of your heroes took a leap before they were ready. How many took a chance on something that could have failed. It's not a coincidence that so many people you know and admire who are doing really interesting things with their time here on earth tend to go for it before they know they can do it. Jumping the gap is the way to do something you've never done before.

See the gap. Mind the gap. And then push off the ground, soar over the gap, and see what awaits you on the other side. 
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Let's Get Real

9/13/2018

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Photo by alpay tonga on Unsplash
I want to be so many things in this world, but most of all, I want to be Real.

If you have ever read The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams Bianco, you might recall the conversation between the Skin Horse and the Rabbit about what it means to become Real.
“The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces. He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away, and he knew that they were only toys, and would never turn into anything else. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it. 

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?" 

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." 

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. 

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." 

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" 

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." 

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled. 

"The Boy's Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.” ​
For so much of our lives, we are taught to be “strong” and too often, "strong" has meant that we don't admit pain, show our feelings, cry, or say that we are scared or confused. To hold ourselves back from expressing these feelings, from even feeling these feelings, is to sentence ourselves to an emotional and spiritual death while we are still breathing. To be alive is to feel. To feel our feelings is to be a human being. And to express this experience in a creative way is to be an artist of the highest order.  

Our brains try to trick us into believing that our favorite actors, musicians, writers, and artists are having a completely different experience than we are. We believe that they are the Real Thing, so to speak. And when you are Real, you don't...

Feel like a fraud.
Get nervous before a show.
Hit a roadblock that makes you question your self-worth.
Feel confused about what's next.
Experience exhaustion, doubt, hunger, desperation, etc., etc. 

The list is endless.

The truth is that we are all Real. 

Real people cry before opening night because they are scared to fail.
Real
people feel like Imposters so much of the time.
Real
people admit when they don't know the next step.
Real
people don't need to pretend they don't get scared.

Writing this blog post to you, I feel joy and I also feel a bit like an Imposter. Do I know what I'm talking about? Thoughts thoughts that start to creep in, slow but surely, and get into the cracks of your soul, trying to make themselves at home? "Is anyone reading this? What if everyone secretly thinks I suck and that I should just give up? Am I embarrassing myself by refusing to quit?"

Writing this blog post to you, whatever I feel, I also feel Real because I was able to type those fears onto the page and share them with you. It's started to sink in more and more lately that the people I admire don't know everything, aren't necessarily the experts in their field, but they are authentic and they show up as they are and don't try to pretend to be anything other than what they really are: their Real selves. Showing up as our Real selves is also the first and most crucial step in being able to play and be creative and exercise our imaginations. Hiding who we are takes an incredible amount of energy and this energy is then no longer available to dream and make things. We are the stewards of our own energy and we must wake up to the truth that our energy is meant to be used expressing the truth of who we are, our Realness, and not wasted hiding from our true selves. Creativity starts with honesty. It begins with being Real. 


There's always going to be someone or something that shames you for being Real. I'm not going to be one of those people and this space is always open (thanks, interwebs!) to you to show up in all your Realness. I'm glad you're here and I'm glad that we can share this space together.

​
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Motivation Monday

9/10/2018

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A four year old Me, with red nail polish, a styling outfit, and newly made Bert and Ernie pumpkins.
As we look ahead to a brand new week, how about looking back at the past for a few moments today? As someone who dances with anxiety on a regular basis, I try to be mindful about rethinking the past or worrying too much about the future, but sometimes a blast from the past is just what I need to get motivated. 

Imagine yourself at four years old, or even six. What did you look like? What was your favorite outfit? What did you like to do? What were your dreams? 

In my artist den at home, I have an altar where I keep some of my more treasured  creative items including some seashells from Prince Edwards Island, some hay from my family's farm, my Grandma's teapot, and Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. These items help me to connect to people and places I love and that inspire me to keep dreaming. I also have the photo above on my altar; it helps to remind me of who I really am inside: a fierce dreamer who feels most beautiful and alive when she is making something new. Whether it's a Bert and Ernie pumpkin or a poem, I still feel this little girl's excitement in my heart when I start out on a new creative adventure.

It's easy to tell your adult self "You're not doing enough" or "You're a failure", but how about having to face your four year old self and tell her that she isn't measuring up?

"That's a cute picture you drew, but to be honest,  it's messy and would never end up in an art gallery."

"Your story is ok, but no one would ever pay to read that."

"I know you like to dance, but I'm not letting you perform in the recital--you'd just embarrass yourself."

Do these sound cruel to you? Would you ever say these to a child? What's that? "No freaking way would I EVER say that to a child!" ?

Good, we're in agreement there.  And if we shouldn't say them to a child standing in front of us, then we shouldn't say them to the child that is inside of us.  

It's not easy to shift away from harsh self-talk but it is possible. I used to be my own worst imitation of a sports coach, screaming to "Keep going, idiot!" and "Don't you dare start getting tired now!" and now when I look at this younger version of myself, I cannot imagine giving her anything but love and support. Seeing her hopeful face makes me want to give her dreams, my dreams, a fighting chance. Show up, take a risk, go for it. Better to swing and miss than to not have gone to bat at all. Looking at her innocent eyes, I tend to call myself Sweetheart and remind myself to "Take a break if you need it." and "I love you and am always here for you." Call it corny, but caring about yourself and your creativity goes a LONG way in helping us to continue to explore and seek out adventures.

Find a photo of yourself as a kid and hang it in a place where you can see it. Keep it near your desk when you write, in your script for rehearsal, on the wall near the chair you sit in to practice guitar or paint. Wherever you go, bring yourself with you  and you might just discover a whole new way to get along. 
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    Author

    My name is Melissa and I'm an actor, playwright, author, filmmaker, and teaching artist who wants to help you discover, cultivate, and care for your creativity. 
     
    What does being creative mean to you?

    How do you play every day?

    This is a space for taking a break, a breath,  and finding ways to flex our imagination and find the joy where we can. 

    ​No one is going to present us with a ready made creative life--we have  to step up and gift it to ourselves. I'm so glad you're here.

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