THE PERPETUAL VISITOR: Sustainable Creative Living.
  • Blog
  • About Me
  • Things I Teach
  • Things I Make
    • The Book: The Perpetual Visitor
    • Wild Unfolding: and other poems
    • New Bird
    • The Podcast
    • Theatre
    • Film
    • Poetry
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • About Me
  • Things I Teach
  • Things I Make
    • The Book: The Perpetual Visitor
    • Wild Unfolding: and other poems
    • New Bird
    • The Podcast
    • Theatre
    • Film
    • Poetry
  • Contact

Motivation Monday

9/29/2019

5 Comments

 
Picture
How can you be a little more playful today?

How could holding life a little looser help to ease some tension?

It could be dancing in your kitchen while you cook.

Humming a song while you work.

Imagining yourself as the heroine of the movie as you face that challenge today.

Wearing something bright, as a way to say “I’m here!” Drawing on a fake mustache and taking some funny selfies.

There is no award for being so serious all the time.

There won’t be any prize for never taking a break.

But offering yourself time to imagine, play, and loosen? Oh, there are infinite possibilities in that space. Possibilities for well being, mental and physical, creativity, healing, and for experiencing yourself and the world in a brand new way.

I dare you: Allow yourself to feel heavy, guilty, unsure, and even cynical about loosening up.

Then go ahead and do it anyway. As you build your trust in being able to be more playful and at the same time, understand that loosening doesn’t equate to running away but rather being even more present and offering yourself something sweet and helpful in the moment, you just might discover a different way to live.
​
Anyone else have any wisdom to offer about loosening your grip and actually finding more peace and joy? 💕
5 Comments

Monday Motivation

9/15/2019

4 Comments

 
Picture


Real talk here, folks.

When someone says to me, "I don't know how you do it all!" the truth is that I don't. 

There is a whole bunch of stuff I AM doing this fall: day jobbing it full time, teaching an evening course in documentary theatre at a local college, getting myself to a weekly therapy session, and doing my best to try to eat some good food and sleep enough to keep my psoriasis at bay, and to connect with the people I love in some way each day.

AND?

There is a gigantic list of things that I am NOT doing.

Laundry.

Doing my dishes every day.

Cooking every night.

Making my bed.

Exercising regularly. 

Answering texts and emails on time. 

Cleaning out my ridiculous overcrowded closet. 

Exhibit A: This is my ginormous pile of "I have worked all week and taught and gone to therapy and tried to eat and sleep even remotely regularly so I haven't had time to put away any of my stuff this week."

Have you ever had one of these piles? Do you have one now? Here's something many people won't tell, you: it's ok to have one of these piles. Or ten. In fact, it's NORMAL. 

One of my dearest friends once shared with me a sentiment that her mother often said about life: You can have it all, but not at the same time. 

It's true. I've had times in the my life where I've made homecooked meals every single night but wasn't in production for a play.

I've had times where I was in rehearsals four plus days a week but wasn't spending the evenings at home with my husband and our cat.

I've had times when I was spending a ton of time with people I love and not writing as much.

I've had times when I wrote like a madwoman and didn't listen to much music. 

I could go on and on, but do you see what I mean? Every investment of time and energy is a tradeoff.  You cannot do it all at the same time. It's not possible. And would you really want to? Because dividing your attention and your passion isn't always a way to get you more joy, satisfaction, or contentment. Sometimes carving yourself up is a recipe for feeling depleted, drained, and uninspired. 

Do what you need you need to do (or NOT do) in order to have the peace and joy you most definitely deserve. No matter what anyone else says. No matter what the voice in your head says. No matter what you think you SHOULD be doing.

Someday when you are old and gray, what is going to make you look back with gratitude? Knowing your did everything you were supposed to do all the time but didn't really enjoy any of it or doing any of it particularly well? Or having thrown yourself head and heart first into sometime you really wanted to go for and having given yourself permission to let stuff go by the wayside sometimes? 

Because you can either make a life that feels meaningful to you or have all your laundry done all the time.

Happy Almost-Monday, Friends. May you forgive yourself for not being able to do it all. May you celebrate being a human being doing their best to do what it is that matters most to you in the moment. 
4 Comments

Motivation Monday

9/6/2019

3 Comments

 
Picture
Last year, I saw this on one of the office doors in the Performing Arts Department at the college where I teach. 

I LOVE this. I've heard it said recently that anyone can go through hell and come out having learned nothing, having not gained a deeper sense of love and compassion. Suffering does not automatically equal wisdom. It's possible to suffer and become bitter and jaded.I think we have all heard someone we know talk a big game about having become wise through a break-up, lost job, or disappointment, and yet their words are still spoken through a clenched jaw; it is clear to see the anger and rage nearly boil over at that moment.

​Rage is natural. Anger is necessary. And yes, even bitterness is part of the palette of human emotions. I need to feel these things and suspect you do, too. But there's a difference between allowing them to blow through, throw us off course for a time, and letting them steer us back to a place of deeper determination and love, and simply being eaten alive by the suffering these feelings can cause.

Whenever I find myself a bit quick to prove my suffering has made me wise, it's a moment to pause.

What haven't I worked through yet?

What am I trying to rush?

What am I trying to hide?

I wrote the first draft of my book during a time when I had a day job that was not healthy for me, and so much of that first version was full of anger. It was so necessary for me to express and the very act of writing it out each day was a release that helped me get through that toxic time.

But when I reread the draft a few years later, I realized that it wasn't all that interesting. The anger on its own, without being crystallized into something representing action, hope, and curiosity about what the future might hold, felt pretty boring. So I thanked the past Melissa that had the wherewithal to essentially journal her feelings each day and essentially save her sanity that way, and scrapped that draft. I started over.


We absolutely need to feel all the painful feelings. There's no getting to tenderness without this step. But let's not forget that tenderness is the place to get to. It is easy to stay angry. To grow bitter. 

But to go through hell and come out singing? What a beautiful possibility.

P.S.: And when you are feeling rage? I highly suggest a loud sing along of Totally Fucked from Spring Awakening. It is my go-to song for getting all the angry feels expressed in a way that helps me to feel better afterwards. 

​
3 Comments

Motivation Monday

9/2/2019

3 Comments

 
Picture
Philip Seymour Hoffman has always been one of my favorite actors and though Almost Famous  is by no means a favorite movie of mine, his performance as rock critic Lester Bangs is one for the books. I came across this quote today and must admit that I have been feeling pretty uncool lately. I feel overwhelmed, a little more uninspired than usual, and generally wiped out. I don't feel "on" or ready or presentable  or particularly clever or creative at the moment, and as a result, have been feeling like the most vulnerable version of myself.  I have faith this feeling will pass (as feelings do), but boy,  it feels tough in the meanwhile. 

Wisdom and hope isn't easily found online, but this quote (and the movie clip containing it below) made me feel just a little more hope. Maybe it's in our uncool moments, when we feel a little lost and wobbly, that we have the best chance of being a real human being capable of connecting to and feeling compassion for all the other uncool souls out there. It's easy to tell yourself you're the only one, but the truth is, there's a whole community of uncool out there; we're in good company.

Wishing you a week where you give yourself permission to not be put together all the time.

Wishing you patience with riding out whatever emotional wave you might be surfing right now.

​May you mind these tender moments while they are here, and practice staying with them long enough to see what kind of magic might come of them. 
3 Comments

    Author

    My name is Melissa and I'm an actor, playwright, author, filmmaker, and teaching artist who wants to help you discover, cultivate, and care for your creativity. 
     
    What does being creative mean to you?

    How do you play every day?

    This is a space for taking a break, a breath,  and finding ways to flex our imagination and find the joy where we can. 

    ​No one is going to present us with a ready made creative life--we have  to step up and gift it to ourselves. I'm so glad you're here.

    Categories

    All
    Artist Dates
    Creative Recharge
    Creative Risks
    Motivation Monday
    Persistence
    Play
    Success
    Theatre
    Tiny Tips For Creativity
    Whole Artist
    Writing

    Archives

    August 2023
    July 2023
    December 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    March 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    August 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    August 2020
    July 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013

    Want to get blog posts delivered right to your inbox? Sign up to receive The Perpetual Visitor below and never miss creative conversation!

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.