Real talk here, folks.
When someone says to me, "I don't know how you do it all!" the truth is that I don't.
There is a whole bunch of stuff I AM doing this fall: day jobbing it full time, teaching an evening course in documentary theatre at a local college, getting myself to a weekly therapy session, and doing my best to try to eat some good food and sleep enough to keep my psoriasis at bay, and to connect with the people I love in some way each day.
AND?
There is a gigantic list of things that I am NOT doing.
Laundry.
Doing my dishes every day.
Cooking every night.
Making my bed.
Exercising regularly.
Answering texts and emails on time.
Cleaning out my ridiculous overcrowded closet.
Exhibit A: This is my ginormous pile of "I have worked all week and taught and gone to therapy and tried to eat and sleep even remotely regularly so I haven't had time to put away any of my stuff this week."
Have you ever had one of these piles? Do you have one now? Here's something many people won't tell, you: it's ok to have one of these piles. Or ten. In fact, it's NORMAL.
One of my dearest friends once shared with me a sentiment that her mother often said about life: You can have it all, but not at the same time.
It's true. I've had times in the my life where I've made homecooked meals every single night but wasn't in production for a play.
I've had times where I was in rehearsals four plus days a week but wasn't spending the evenings at home with my husband and our cat.
I've had times when I was spending a ton of time with people I love and not writing as much.
I've had times when I wrote like a madwoman and didn't listen to much music.
I could go on and on, but do you see what I mean? Every investment of time and energy is a tradeoff. You cannot do it all at the same time. It's not possible. And would you really want to? Because dividing your attention and your passion isn't always a way to get you more joy, satisfaction, or contentment. Sometimes carving yourself up is a recipe for feeling depleted, drained, and uninspired.
Do what you need you need to do (or NOT do) in order to have the peace and joy you most definitely deserve. No matter what anyone else says. No matter what the voice in your head says. No matter what you think you SHOULD be doing.
Someday when you are old and gray, what is going to make you look back with gratitude? Knowing your did everything you were supposed to do all the time but didn't really enjoy any of it or doing any of it particularly well? Or having thrown yourself head and heart first into sometime you really wanted to go for and having given yourself permission to let stuff go by the wayside sometimes?
Because you can either make a life that feels meaningful to you or have all your laundry done all the time.
Happy Almost-Monday, Friends. May you forgive yourself for not being able to do it all. May you celebrate being a human being doing their best to do what it is that matters most to you in the moment.
