"...and I'm a perfectionist." ("Hi Melissa!") Yes. I rarely say it out loud, but I am indeed a perfectionist and sometimes feel like perhaps I should become a member of a local Perfectionists Anonymous support group. You'll notice it's been over a month since I've posted, and besides taking a nice hiatus for the holidays, I have to admit that my perfectionism played a role as well. I thought about posting a few times, but with each idea I had, a little voice inside me would pipe up, "Do you really think that is the MOST important thing to write about right now?", or "Is that something everyone can relate to? There must be something more universal to blog about", or "You HAVE to be more creative than that." . That old chum named Perfectionism loves to visit and when she does, she like to stay awhile, And when Perfectionism is around, her good friend Procrastination usually tags along for the ride. Perfectionism and Procrastination go hand in hand, at least for me. This pattern happens to me more often than I'd like to admit. Here's a few examples, perhaps you can relate:
1. I might want to go to an audition. But Perfectionism makes me feel like I need just the right monologue before I can attempt it, not to mention a nicer pair of shoes, and while we're at it, a new haircut. The result? I put off going until I feel I can live up to the standards I hold for myself.
2. I want to have a friend over for dinner, but feel like I should get some newer, nicer dishes before I do, And do a top to bottom cleaning of the apartment...AND buy that new sofa I've been dreaming of, but haven't quite saved enough for yet. Result? I don't invite them.
3. I begin the day intending to meditate, but after sitting down in my chair, decide I should light a candle to set the mood for meditation. Then I decide I should get a cup of tea ready so that when I finish, I can immediately sip some Earl Grey and reflect on how it went. And THEN I think about how nice it would be if I found some soothing music to play in the background, to help speed the enlightenment along. Result? Well, let's just say I'm not in a very deep mediation at this point, at least not about anything but designing a specific room in the house for meditation, complete with fountains, plants, pillows, and music. Grrrr. Sound relaxing? I think not.
I could go on and on, but I think you get the point. No matter what I set out to do, if I hold myself to Perfection, I inevitably stray away from the task at hand and Procrastinate. And while I know intellectually that Perfectionism is a road not to be taken, I still need to let that sink deep down into my bones until I really know it.
So, while I am not generally fixated too much on New Year's Resolutions, I am trying a new strategy for 2014: I vow to not let Perfectionism get in the way and cause me to Procrastinate. Ultimately, I believe this willingness to put pen to paper, literally and figuratively, and do the work will lead me to Progress. In fact, I'm trying it out this Tuesday by going to an audition with two monologues that (in my opinion) are not the end-all, be-all, monologues-to-end-all= monologues monologues, but you know what? If I wait to find those, I may never make it to the audition. So I'm diving in and am going to try to ride the wave of Progress. Which also means not waiting another month and a half to write another blog post.
Is there something for you in 2014 that you are hoping to not procrastinate doing and make progress on?
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Here's a fantastic little blog post on perfectionism and why it's the enemy of creativity, written by the wise and wonderful Brene Brown: http://brenebrown.com/2009/03/18/2009318perfectionism-and-claiming-shame-html/
1. I might want to go to an audition. But Perfectionism makes me feel like I need just the right monologue before I can attempt it, not to mention a nicer pair of shoes, and while we're at it, a new haircut. The result? I put off going until I feel I can live up to the standards I hold for myself.
2. I want to have a friend over for dinner, but feel like I should get some newer, nicer dishes before I do, And do a top to bottom cleaning of the apartment...AND buy that new sofa I've been dreaming of, but haven't quite saved enough for yet. Result? I don't invite them.
3. I begin the day intending to meditate, but after sitting down in my chair, decide I should light a candle to set the mood for meditation. Then I decide I should get a cup of tea ready so that when I finish, I can immediately sip some Earl Grey and reflect on how it went. And THEN I think about how nice it would be if I found some soothing music to play in the background, to help speed the enlightenment along. Result? Well, let's just say I'm not in a very deep mediation at this point, at least not about anything but designing a specific room in the house for meditation, complete with fountains, plants, pillows, and music. Grrrr. Sound relaxing? I think not.
I could go on and on, but I think you get the point. No matter what I set out to do, if I hold myself to Perfection, I inevitably stray away from the task at hand and Procrastinate. And while I know intellectually that Perfectionism is a road not to be taken, I still need to let that sink deep down into my bones until I really know it.
So, while I am not generally fixated too much on New Year's Resolutions, I am trying a new strategy for 2014: I vow to not let Perfectionism get in the way and cause me to Procrastinate. Ultimately, I believe this willingness to put pen to paper, literally and figuratively, and do the work will lead me to Progress. In fact, I'm trying it out this Tuesday by going to an audition with two monologues that (in my opinion) are not the end-all, be-all, monologues-to-end-all= monologues monologues, but you know what? If I wait to find those, I may never make it to the audition. So I'm diving in and am going to try to ride the wave of Progress. Which also means not waiting another month and a half to write another blog post.
Is there something for you in 2014 that you are hoping to not procrastinate doing and make progress on?
_
Here's a fantastic little blog post on perfectionism and why it's the enemy of creativity, written by the wise and wonderful Brene Brown: http://brenebrown.com/2009/03/18/2009318perfectionism-and-claiming-shame-html/
