THE PERPETUAL VISITOR: Sustainable Creative Living.
  • Blog
  • About Me
  • Things I Teach
  • Things I Make
    • The Book: The Perpetual Visitor
    • Wild Unfolding: and other poems
    • New Bird
    • The Podcast
    • Theatre
    • Film
    • Poetry
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • About Me
  • Things I Teach
  • Things I Make
    • The Book: The Perpetual Visitor
    • Wild Unfolding: and other poems
    • New Bird
    • The Podcast
    • Theatre
    • Film
    • Poetry
  • Contact

"Hi My Name is Melissa...."

1/11/2014

3 Comments

 
Picture
"...and I'm a perfectionist." ("Hi Melissa!") Yes. I rarely say it out loud, but I am indeed a perfectionist and sometimes feel like perhaps I should become a member of a local Perfectionists Anonymous support group. You'll notice it's been  over a month since I've posted, and besides taking a nice hiatus for the holidays, I have to admit that my perfectionism played a role as well. I thought about posting a few times, but with each idea I had, a little voice inside me would pipe up, "Do you really think that is the MOST important thing to write about right now?", or "Is that something everyone can relate to? There must be something more universal to blog about", or "You HAVE to be more creative than that." . That old chum named Perfectionism loves to visit and when she does, she like to stay awhile, And when Perfectionism is around, her good friend Procrastination usually tags along for the ride. Perfectionism and Procrastination go hand in hand, at least for me. This pattern happens to me more often than I'd like to admit. Here's a few examples, perhaps you can relate:

1. I might want to go to an audition. But Perfectionism makes me feel like I need just the right monologue before I can attempt it, not to mention a nicer pair of shoes, and while we're at it, a new haircut. The result? I put off going until I feel I can live up to the standards I hold for myself.

2. I want to have a friend over for dinner, but feel like I should get some newer, nicer dishes before I do, And do a top to bottom cleaning of the apartment...AND buy that new sofa I've been dreaming of, but haven't quite saved enough for yet. Result? I don't invite them.

3. I begin the day intending to meditate, but after sitting down in my chair, decide I should light a candle to set the mood for meditation. Then I decide I should get a cup of tea ready so that when I finish, I can immediately sip some Earl Grey and reflect on how it went. And THEN I think about how nice it would be if I found some soothing music to play in the background, to help speed the enlightenment along. Result? Well, let's just say I'm not in a very deep mediation at this point, at least not about anything but designing a specific room in the house for meditation, complete with fountains, plants, pillows, and music. Grrrr. Sound relaxing? I think not. 

I could go on and on, but I think you get the point. No matter what I set out to do, if I hold myself to Perfection, I inevitably stray away from the task at hand and Procrastinate. And while I know intellectually that Perfectionism is a road not to be taken, I still need to let that sink deep down into my bones until I really know  it. 
 
So, while I am not generally fixated too much on New Year's Resolutions, I am trying a new strategy for 2014: I vow to not let Perfectionism get in the way and cause me to Procrastinate. Ultimately, I believe this willingness to put pen to paper, literally and figuratively, and do the work will lead me to Progress. In fact, I'm trying it out this Tuesday by going to an audition with two monologues that (in my opinion) are not the end-all, be-all, monologues-to-end-all= monologues monologues, but you know what? If I wait to find those, I may never make it to the audition. So I'm diving in and am going to try to ride the wave of Progress. Which also means not waiting another month and a half to write another blog post. 

Is there something for you in 2014 that you are hoping to not procrastinate doing and make progress on? 
_
Here's a fantastic little blog post on perfectionism and why it's the enemy of creativity, written by the wise and wonderful Brene Brown: http://brenebrown.com/2009/03/18/2009318perfectionism-and-claiming-shame-html/ 

3 Comments
Alion
1/12/2014 01:57:08 am

Break legs at that audition, and be sure to let us know how it went!

I've never had any luck with new years resolutions in the past- for a multitude of reasons that all really boil down to perfectionism! (Even down to- well it's January 1st, I really should have had a good resolution decided on yesterday, in order to do it right. It's not the same starting late.)

But with the new job this year I've felt really inspired to turn new leaves in a lot of areas in my life. So this year I decided on a sort of resolution/plan that I could handle. Something a little more manageable for my perfectionist self. Each month I'm working on developing a good habit. Each habit is something I've been meaning to do that improves my life in a concrete way. By doing it for a whole month either it will become a regular habit, or I'll understand why it's not for me. It also gives me an opportunity to reflect on where I'm at and what I want going into each month. I'm starting easy in January with increasing and tracking my water intake, and making sure I'm early to work every day. :)

Reply
Alizon
1/12/2014 01:58:40 am

Alizon. Not Alion! Boooo. Missing the best part of my name.

Reply
Melissa
1/23/2014 02:09:01 pm

I love this idea, Alizon! Sounds much more manageable a plan for NY resolutions than the classic "I'm going to change my WHOLE life!" Hope January went well for you :-) I've been working on water intake too--always harder than it sounds!

As for the auditions, it was an open call for three productions for the upcoming season. So far, I got called back for two of three shows--feeling pretty good so far! Amazing how much letting go of perfectionism and focusing on what you do have to bring to the table pays off :)

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    My name is Melissa and I'm an actor, playwright, author, filmmaker, and teaching artist who wants to help you discover, cultivate, and care for your creativity. 
     
    What does being creative mean to you?

    How do you play every day?

    This is a space for taking a break, a breath,  and finding ways to flex our imagination and find the joy where we can. 

    ​No one is going to present us with a ready made creative life--we have  to step up and gift it to ourselves. I'm so glad you're here.

    Categories

    All
    Artist Dates
    Creative Recharge
    Creative Risks
    Motivation Monday
    Persistence
    Play
    Success
    Theatre
    Tiny Tips For Creativity
    Whole Artist
    Writing

    Archives

    December 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    March 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    August 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    August 2020
    July 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013

    Want to get blog posts delivered right to your inbox? Sign up to receive The Perpetual Visitor below and never miss creative conversation!

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.